I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
