You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize