Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
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Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
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This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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