I wish I only lived at night.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
