some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
