He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I am naked and annoyed.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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