You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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