apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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