people are starting to question the shark bite story
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
