chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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