I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
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