I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
