If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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