I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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