i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
