My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
