naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
