Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
