We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
