So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
