You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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