Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
