yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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