and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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