i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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