There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
