i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
