I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
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