checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
