dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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