No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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