Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize