Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
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