I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
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