You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
