And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
We smell like vodka and hangover
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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