Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Randomize
