I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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