i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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