also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
