I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
