I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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