You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
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