This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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