god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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