Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
