i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
