So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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