...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
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stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
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U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
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