I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize