obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
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