I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
third nipple confirmed
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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