btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
