I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
