just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
